I know that, historically at least, it’s been quiet here. There’s a good reason for that. I spend my day job being extremely public. That’s the nature of being a YouTube person. And while the version of me you see on Transport Evolved is certainly based on my inner soul, there’s a degree of protection that must be applied to keep myself (and probably the audience) a little safe and separated.
But here? It’s me. Unvarnished. Messy.
We are, at the time of me writing this, just about six weeks into 2026. I would already like a refund. We’ve seen citizens killed; politicians lie about it; journalists arrested; and threats made against a whole swathe of the U.S. population. We are not only revisiting some of America’s worst parts of her history but we are actively cosplaying out the worst parts of other nations’ histories too.
To say I’m scared would be… a stark understatement. To say I’m tired would be a British level of disassociation. Luckily, as a British, Canadian, American… (guess which one of those three countries I’m actually not ashamed to be a citizen of) I am good at disassociation.
As an out, trans individual living in the Pacific Northwest, I’m one of the lucky ones. I have a house. I have a place to grow food. I have a car that’s reliable, a motorcycle that’s still off the road but getting closer to operation, and a truck that’s half paid off. I could be in a far worse position. The state I live in has at least some semblance of decency, and while a recent attempt to enshrine LGBTQIA+ rights into this autumn’s election fell short, it’s certainly not the Deep South.
Yet, I’m constantly on edge. The attacks, the death threats (yes, there are regular threats), and the combined threats against communities I am part of mean that I’d rather just stay in The Shire.
I am alive. I am not giving up. But holy fuck does it feel like the last 20 years of my life have been an absolute waste.
Keep on being awesome. I intend to try to live to my best side.